Quick Bites at Saint’s Alp Tea House

If you need something fast in the East Village, Saint’s Alp Tea House has a crazy list of drinks and an array of dim sum. It’s fast, fried, and cheap, so it worked well for me:

Samosas. Okay, so the menu isn’t strictly Chinese. These were tasty with a kick of spice.

Shrimp. In a fried ball. Doesn’t need a better description than that.

Also, see The Gourmet Cartographer for thoughts on the blueberry toast.

China Grill: Blech.

I refuse to call China Grill any sort of fusion restaurant just because there is some soy sauce in their dishes. I’m resistant to categorize it as Chinese but am going to if not for anything more than the title of the restaurant. I actually enjoyed the family-style aspect of the meal–there was plenty of food to go around, even if the overall quality was subpar. Ugh, and the scene. Why the heck is this place so popular? It had a weird smoky haze and was quite loud. The bathrooms were in this weird spiral staircase in which the women had to walk upstairs and then men had to walk downstairs but there were no doors to the bathroom or signs to indicate which gender should go where. Good thing I went the right way or that could have been…awkward.

Appetizers

Calamari salad in a lime miso dressing : one of the few standout dishes. Very crisp calamari with a delicate dressing to match.

Lamb spare ribs: also good–the sauce was sweet and the lamb was tender.

Beef and scallion dumpling: Soggy dumpling and boring beef. Actually, worse than boring. It was just bad.

Entrees

Drunken Chicken: SO dry.  So terrible.  So chewy.  Would have been good if they didn’t pre-cook it and then re-heat it (I assume). The Asian slaw was too tangy.  The crispy onions were not particularly crispy.

BBQ Salmon: No taste. Any home cook could make a better salmon.

Skirt Steak with Noodles: Overly soy sauced.

Wild Mushroom Profusion Pasta:  Soooo much “sake madeira” (where was that part?) cream sauce, it tasted like something one would order at Olive Garden.

We also ordered wasabi mashed potatoes which were spot-on and I’m giving another star for them alone. The vegetable fried rice was okay too.

Dessert

Assorted sorbets and cream cheese mousse: Dull sorbets and didn’t love the mousse at all (me? not like a cheese dish?!), though a few people thought it was quite nice. Call me a curmudgeon but it needed more sugar and a thicker consistency.

The scary part? These dishes were all from the regular menu, so people order this dredge all the time. Jeffrey Chodorow, I expected more. I will not go back willingly.

www.chinagrillmgmt.com, 60 W. 53rd St at 6th Ave

Rating: